If you look closely enough in this picture my younger bro took of me on our way to the strip; you can see the landmark Fabulous Las Vegas sign!
He had recently graduated from the University of Oregon like I had in 2010 and I was giving him a free shot at finding a career opportunity while he stayed with me at my apartment complex in Sin City. The slogan is a lie! This was in December 2011 and to be honest, I thought everything was going great with my career until I went back home on vacation for the Christmas holiday. It is hard to explain in words the tension my family suffers from during this time of year because I have been questioning its authenticity for a long time. None of my family has actually believed in Jesus Christ and I’ve accepted the fact that I’m not here to change their minds but I believe one man has died for all of my sins and nobody can take that away from me. Thank you Jesus Christ of Nazareth, consider all of this payback:
When I was little and like many of you; my parents thought it would be funny to play a game with me. After Thanksgiving time, they would typically adorn the house with winter themed paraphernalia and decorate an evergreen conifer tree with various lighting and ornaments. They were even brave enough to sometimes put a star or angel decoration on the very top of it! They would also go shopping for, and purchase things for various family members with the intentions of exchanging them on the 24th and 25th of December; Christmas Eve and Christmas Day respectively. It plays a huge part in Christian culture and although my family never really dove into the Bible or Church, we checked into it when I was young and I was even baptized Episcopalian as a baby. In my youth, Sunday school was forced upon me but thankfully enough; I hated it!
God impregnating an innocent virgin and later giving her a 33 year old abortion never really stuck with me as a kid and my theories about life but I did fall for the idea of a jolly fat man passing out presents to all of the children worldwide. Apparently if I was good enough, at the end of the year I would be rewarded with toys, clothing, and other gifts I really wanted or didn’t want at all.
Trying to make sense of this bizarre tradition really caught a hold of me when I figured out it was all one gigantic fabricated lie and as time progressed and I began to realize how detrimental religion really is to people world wide; I began to honestly despise not only everything, but everyone. Hate really is like a black hole in the universe because it sucks you in and there is no escape. Things just become putrid and you really begin to say “fuck the world”
Well, I have begun the healing process and I really remember beginning to snap during our family celebration Christmas 2009. I just couldn’t hold back from being fraudulent any longer. I was going to college and partying way too much. I was smoking weed like the most evil pothead from Hell and I was acting like someone totally different when I visited family back home. I have played the role of one too many people in this lifetime and I really think all of that is what turned me into a Bi-Polar person.
I went back to school in January of 2010 and my life suddenly felt like it was swirling down the toilet. I began to recognize I would be graduating soon and also closing a four year chapter of my life that was supposedly suppose to prepare me for what everyone kept calling “the real world”. When it comes down to it, I hadn’t been thinking about the direction I wanted to take my life and I was 21 years old. Is 21 supposed to be young or old? It’s really hard to tell what society expects from a young man in his twenties.
Even with all of the overwhelming thoughts that began to plague me I was able to graduate in September of 2010. Making it through college really is an accomplishment but the difficult part is figuring out what do afterward. At this point in time for me personally, it was all just too much. The outside world was starting to appear apocalyptic and when I moved back in with my parents, I really started to retreat into my mind. By December 2010, I honest to God was preparing mentally for a scenario that makes no logical sense and while in Hawaii of all places; I lost comprehension with the outside world. You can call it whatever you want-to but I was in fucking la la land and I mean this in a very bad and unsafe way. At the time, I really was a danger to myself and it is these events that led me to a psychiatric hospital in Oakland for a period of time until my rehabilitation was deemed complete.
It was during this same period in time that Jared Loughner went on a shooting spree in Tucson, Arizona attempting to kill U.S. Representative Gabrielle Giffords.
Jared Loughner, James Holmes, and myself all have something in common. We are young white males with middle class backgrounds hailing from Christian-like communities. We are all about the same age and I can assure you that Loughner and Holmes grew up in a strikingly similar environment to me.
They both had a mother and father, they both received public educations, and from what I can tell, we all have had trouble comprehending the environment we were born and raised into. I am also very different from both of those fucking lunatics and I am not asking to be associated with either of them but this is a comparison that I have to make because I think people that know me have probably already made it anyways.
We are constantly being judged by our peers and those around me are lucky enough to have survived my downfall because I really did fall hard but I was able to get back up on my feet and recover mostly thanks to my own will and determination.
After being accepted back into my family, I was able to find work in a local restaurant and banquet hall. I concealed all of my bad news and was able to pretend as though my entire episode from the Winter of 2010 had never happened. In all reality, it did and I can never erase my memories no matter how hard I try.
Being in a friendly environment and around lots of people in continuous celebration was actually just the medication I needed. I worked in all sorts of community events and even made some friends in the process. I truly began recovering enough to the point where after a few months, my ambition began to kick-in and I started looking for jobs and careers that most college graduates apply to.
It was in May 2011 when I found out about the sales opportunity with Hershey Company. It stood out from the other companies at the career fair in thanks to HireLive, Walnut Creek, and Embassy Suites. Well, I filled out the online application as honestly as I could and added some clever remarks or whatever and heard back from them about two weeks later. This started about a two month hiring process in which I was rewarded the job after a final interview in San Francisco. I initially thought I would be working in Eastern Idaho but another applicant was hired for that region so I filled the role for the Summerlin Territory within Las Vegas, Nevada and part of the Salt Lake City District. I officially began my role with Hershey Company August 29th, 2011.
Nobody can take away that sense of accomplishment I felt at that point-of-time. I had graduated college and rebounded from a serious incident that almost ruined my life entirely but I miraculously managed to pull through and get a job that most college graduates would deem impressive. I knew all of the basics already through my practice in the classroom about business and marketing so all it took was some training to really begin contributing and improving the bottom line for my territory.
I was there only for a short period of time. Not even six months. In my opinion, the last thing Hershey Company wants to see is their employees treating the job as short term. The expected length of time for a retail sales representative or RSR for short is two years but at the same time it is an at-will contract meaning they can terminate you whenever they want. I don’t think they can hate me for deciding to choose an alternative route. I learned from them plenty enough and I know that they had to have learned from me. I might even be a case study for those people in corporate headquarters.
I am a very hardworking individual and at the time of my employment, several other RSR’s had initiated a lawsuit for unjust compensation. I received a letter about this later in 2012 and I threw it away because I think it is unjustified bullshit. I mean, if you want to be treated like an hourly wage employee, do not apply for a salary paying job. You are going to work more than 40 hours a week with the RSR role and I thought that that was a given when I signed up for Vegas. Also, being just a one man unit and living alone, I know for a fact I had to have been one of the most focused people in the Salt Lake City District. I mean, this was a time in my life where I wasn’t even thinking about a family, marriage, or raising children. My primary concern was 30+ accounts for the Summerlin Territory. After all, it is a very serious job and I was responsible for millions of chocolate dollars.
Selling chocolate should be guilt free but I am always conscious of what I do and being in Wal-Mart stores as much as I was; I honestly felt bad for some of my customers. I am talking about people that are over 350 pounds in weight. It is sad and one of the things I thought of and appreciated most about selling cars is the fact that I was legitimately helping people. Why car sales is disrespected as much as it is, is truly beyond me but I think people are slowly changing. Scion, a marquee of Toyota, only deals with pure pricing. That is hassle-free, non-negotiable pricing. It works for the salesman and the consumer because people buying cars do not like paying sticker price or haggling for a deal. It has been a known fact for years and dealerships should stop advertising prices they don’t actually want to sell at! Trust me, I am no expert in the automotive business and I probably never will be but I learned the basics of the trade and my experiences at the two dealerships I worked at are priceless.
Desert Toyota from late January 2012 to early April 2012
Antioch Toyota from late July 2012 to late April 2013
I finally feel like things are starting to gravel into place for me and I am grateful for that but this has taken years and years to get right. We all make mistakes but it is making the same mistakes over and over again that lead you nowhere in life. I would like to say I know how to move forward and learn from mine.
You see, I didn’t intend on typing out my life story right there but it kind of just happened. Isn’t that life in a nutshell? It kind of just happens. And guess what?
The one thing I have always dreaded the most is looking back in time during my final moments and having nothing but regrets cross my mind. At this point, I’m just really grateful for being alive.
Life does not have an instruction manual no matter how hard people try to sell you one. Perhaps that is why you can attain the Holy Bible, the Quran, and the Book of Mormon for free but now I have brought up instruction manuals.
Yes, I am talking about religion and the scripture that people worship. You probably know what I think about religion by now and if I were the Messiah I would be preaching real change. Logical change. People are tripping over ancient stories and you can honestly learn more elsewhere, but these books are going nowhere at the same time. Synagogues, Churches, Cathedrals, Mosques, and Temples are built and stationary.
While studying business, I learned you can forecast and predict. The most successful ventures do this but some of the most illogical stories on this Earth have casted a spell on people and I am specifically referring to Jesus Christ. Did you know that billions of Christians, Mormons, and Muslims are awaiting his return?
I cannot say exactly what each individual thinks but Biblical Prophecy has to do with the son of God returning to this Earth and saving the world! That sounds fucking nuts but who am I to judge?
The Jews believe the Messiah will set the world straight.
There is no way the son of God will ever come back to this Earth because as far as I’m concerned, he is dead and residing in heaven with his father looking over all of us. If you just magically expect him to descend from the sky to save you in this lifetime; you are fucking nuts! Dead people are highly capable of many things and I will list some of the more common scenarios for you now:
-6 feet under
-Mummified [not so much in the modern times]
-Donated to Science
-Who fucking knows?
There is something that connects us all in this life and I think it is more than crucial for mankind to get his shit together. This Earth is plagued by demonic possession and I mean that as literally as I can. It is the only logical explanation for what is going on right now in the world and if you pick up a newspaper you know what I’m talking about. Prophecy is bullshit.